The Top 10 Things to Learn from this Year's Orycon Program:

Eileen Gunn knows the perfect question for an Editor GOH. Unfortunately it can't be repeated here because of the Communications Decency Act.

Editor GOH Gardner Dozois knows the perfect answer to the perfect question, which certainly can't be quoted here, although we will allow that it involves a spot of necrophilia.

Speaking of the dead, the Camarilla had a perfect vampire ritual, complete with coffin. This was followed by a meeting run methodically by Robert's Rules of Order. Dead or Undead, we learned that you can't escape Robert's.

We now know that the average Orycon attendee is quite intelligent. They almost all passed the intelligence test inherent in reading the daily zine instructions for decyphering the mixed-up pocket program. The few who didn't are still in the hotel searching for the Saturday midnight horror readings.

It is cost effective to bring Peter Morwood over from Ireland every year in order to meet our bar minimums, as well as improve the quality of our program with airplane and blender noises.

We've learned that you can make lots of people do almost anything by holding up a sign. Thanks to all 300 of you who barked like seals again this year. It's always a high point in committee entertainment.

Giving a waiting line a notebook, a pen, and asking for a chain story is asking for trouble. And, oh yes, suggesting that the con com indulges in necrophilia on Sunday credits us with more energy than we have.

Tailbone Editor Patrick Swenson is more than happy to play the role of Dean Wesley Smith, although he loses some enthusiasm when it's pointed out that it is only for panel programming, not for Kris Rusch.

The best way for programming to scare a hotel liaison is to suggest Editor Chocolate Pudding Wrestling.

And the number one thing we learned from Orycon programming is that we have the best program participants in the this, or any other, galaxy. Thanks to them all for the patience and talents they brought to the Orycon program. Special thanks go to this year's GOHs: Patricia Davis, Gardner Dozois, Diane Duane and Peter Morwood.

It's been a pleasure,
Patty Wells

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